A Pain in the Neck

I have had a pain in the neck a long, long time. I’ve had it so long, I’m bored with it, I’ve bored my family with it, my friends are bored with it; I’m now the pain in the neck with pain in my neck.

My neck pain started with a shunt from behind in my beloved student car, a Vauxhall Nova. I was mortified. My neck hurt and my car was broken. Naturally, I worried more for my car. My neck got better, I had been through worse; I fractured two vertebrae in a previous car crash. In Stellenbosch South Africa, a tyre blew on the hire car, a Toyota Corolla, after a near miss with a truck the car veered off the road and into a storm drain. A lucky result by all accounts.

I spent a week lying flat out, in the geriatric ward of a medical clinic. Had I known what I’d experience; I would have discharged myself there and then. It seemed death was in the room with me all the time. I got used to the comical food moments, fortunately, I wasn’t hungry. My dinner would be wheeled to the end of the bed for me look at for thirty-minutes and wheeled out again thirty-minutes later. I think they expected miracles on the geriatric ward.

I spent the following 6-months lying down at my parents, getting up only for my physiotherapy visits. I wrote my university finals on my back – that might have been a first, but I got a desmond (2:2), in keeping with the South African theme.

I hurt my neck again when I went to see a friend starring in Jerry Springer the Musical on the West End. I’d had a great night, caught a London black cab home and in the excitement of the evening, jumped out and hit my head on the door frame, ‘crunch’ went my neck and for the next 2-weeks it wouldn’t and couldn’t move. I went to the doctor, he sent me to a physiotherapist who could do nothing more than stick acupuncture needles in me and hope for the best.

I spent the following 2-weeks lying down at my parents, only getting up for physiotherapy visits and eventually went back to work, with a scarf tightly wrapped around my pain, for six months following.

Life went on, my neck pain was always there, like a loyal friend. I started seeing a chiropractor, I had already seen an acupuncturist, a physiotherapist, an osteopath and a sports masseur - and now I thought it time I saw a chiropractor. - a friendly practise in Richmond, nice people, very nice prices. I spent a year there, it looked good on the evaluation x-rays but it was looking bad on my bank balance. When is a good time to accept that all of your spare cash goes to healing practitioners, rather than nice holidays, a nice car, a nice home? I spent thousands. I started to feel slightly better, we were making progress and then I had another car crash.

I was in Cornwall on holiday, driving my Mini Cooper on a narrow country road with overgrown hedgerows, a slight bend in the road with no visibility and a village idiot coming the other way a Subaru Legacy seemingly in a hurry and – bang! Just what the doctor didn’t order - a head on collision. I climbed out the driver’s side window and looked at the damage. My poor car and my poor neck. However, not all was lost – I had a scarf! Midsummer scarf wearing – why not! It went on straight away and did not come off for the summer.

The Mini was a write off. My neck was hurting again and so back to square one with damage and recovery.

If I were a car, I wonder if I would have been written off by now? The Rheumatologist might do that next week; he is next on my list.

Spa Review: Le Petit Spa, Malmaison Hotel, Newcastle

Good value treatments in a stylish setting keep well groomed locals buffed and tanned

As published by Times Online: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/good_spa_guide/article6912259.ece

On the city’s waterfront with views of the River Tyne, Millennium Bridge and Baltic Arts Centre, Malmaison Hotel is a Grade II converted warehouse in a lively, mainly pedestrianised, area of the quayside.

The Asian inspired spa on the lower-ground floor of this seven-storey stylish hotel gives seclusion and privacy away from the hub-bub of the hotel above.
There are four treatment rooms, a sauna and tanning room. The relaxation ‘area’ is bascially a throughway from reception to the spa and is not the calmest place to relax. With three motorised black leather massage chairs, which were surprisingly noisy when operated, a beanbag and footstall with loud upholstery, the area did not work for me as a calm place nor did the décor fit with the Asian theme. There were also unlit candles along the corridors and the lighting was too bright.

QUALITY OF EXPERIENCE

The Chakra balancing treatment was just what I needed on a cold autumn day. A full body brush and exfoliation followed by a deep body face and scalp massage using hot volcanic stones.

My therapist Jennifer consulted with me before we began to choose oils depending on my skin type and personal preference by smell; she was personable and confident and explained everything in detail.
I took a sauna as recommended before the treatment, a good way to warm up the body and relax the muscles.
The treatment was thoroughly relaxing; the hot stones slipped along my oiled skin and gave a heat that felt both mesmerising and healing, a fabulously deep-tissue massage without the pain. Perfect.
The treatment ended with a scalp massage, an ideal way to bring two hours of total escapism to an end. It stimulated my senses and stirred me from my relaxed state.

FOOD

I was lucky enough to eat in two of the three dining venues within the hotel - the first-floor bar, serving light dishes including bagels and burgers all day long with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the river, and The Brasserie, a more intimate evening venue, with a Mediterranean inspired menu and an in-house sommelier. At street level is Café Mal, a deli-style café on the quayside serving salads, muffins, cappuccinos and freshly squeeze orange juice.

IN-CROWD

Well groomed Newcastle city dwellers. The spa's location and its affordability attracts all kinds, from students studying at the nearby university, local office workers, to those visiting the town on a city break. I changed alongside three ladies preparing with the bride for her wedding day.

WALLET WATCH

The Chakra balancing treatment costs £75 for two hours, great value for money for such a smart hotel. There is a wide range of treatments, from an eyebrow tint at £10, to the Ultimate Indulgence – five hours of treatments for £220. They also suggest treatments for gents, which is a nice touch.

NEED TO KNOW

Malmaison Newcastle, Quayside, Newcastle Upon Tyne NE1 3DX (0191 245 5000; http://www.malmaison.com/)

Spa Review: Body Experience, Richmond, London

A tranquil Surrey spa with much more space than meets the eye behind its shopfront


As published by Times Online
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/good_spa_guide/article6883951.ece


Situated among the smart shops and designer boutiques of exclusive Richmond Hill, Body Experience presents a small, glass shopfront, that on entering opens up into a labyrinth of doors and corridors encompassing eight treatment rooms. The spa is also known for its teenage treatments.

Esther, my therapist came down to meet me soon after I’d arrived, a quietly spoken girl who seemed shy at first. She took me upstairs to the calming candle-lit corridors of the spa, the neutral décor and the water feature at the top of the stairs gave me the feeling I could have been anywhere in the world.

I was still on a hundred-miles-an-hour when I realised she was walking so slowly along the corridor in front of me; her pace gave me reason to think about mine and I started to slow down.

She gave me a tour of the rooms that would be available to me during my visit. Firstly the ladies bathroom, a large coffee-and- cream coloured space with walk-in showers complete with Elemis products and a wall of dark wood lockers, where I’d find my luxurious maroon chenille robe and flip flops, and a line of sinks where there were Shiseido and Thalgo products ready for some post-treatment slather. And not forgetting the jug of ice water with lemon, which I noticed was a common feature in every communal space.

And then on to the relaxation room, which had eight or so day beds, one side of the room in velour, the others leather. I waited here for Esther before my treatment in a room called ‘Daydream’.


EXPERIENCE
I filled out a questionnaire before I was taken upstairs, so Esther knew a little about me before she set to work on my 45-minute sea salt body buff and 75-minute Visible Brilliance Elemis facial. She coyly asked me to de-robe and lay face down on the couch for my body scrub. Slowly she applied the ancient sea salts to my back first, then one leg and arm at a time making sure she tucked me back under the towel after each limb was covered, I liked her gentleness, she was very careful not to make any jolting movements so as to keep me as relaxed as possible.

The sea salt buff was just the right rough to give a deep cleanse of the skin, not painful but certainly giving my skin a good going over. I felt thoroughly cleansed and just as I was sinking deeper into relaxation it was time to shower off the salt in the next door wet room. Struggling to find a place for my towel in the wet room I had to put it on the floor, where it got wet. My robe was hung for me on the outside of the door ready for the next part of the treatment. I wondered what might happen if someone was in the corridor while I reached round the door in all my nakedness to get it?

The body butter application, in contrast, felt nourishing to the skin and soothing too. She applied it with gentle strokes and once again put each limb back under the towel as she worked. I really started feeling the effects but thankfully did not need to get up again; she would go straight on to the facial from here.

The bed started to warm up beneath me as she prepared for my facial. One treatment blended into another, she did some feet manipulation and covered my body with a heavy quilt, which just had me dropping off, almost to sleep.

My facial began, Esther’s touch was light and when leaving the mask to dry, she gave me a head massage, hitting my tension spots perfectly. I found myself falling deep into relaxation. The treatment was the perfect tonic. On completion, she allowed me time to come round gently and walked me slowly back to the relaxation room where she told me I could stay for as long as I wished.


FOOD AND DRINK
In the calm of the relaxation room, Esther gave me the choice of peppermint or camomile tea. I opted for peppermint and she left me for just the right amount of time before she arrived with a tea and a small bowl of fruit, which actually was just what I fancied. The relaxation room looks out on the tranquil garden, where you can take tea on a nice day. The spa also offers a spa lunch, afternoon tea, herbal teas, smoothies even a glass of champagne and of course iced water for you to help yourself.


IN-CROWD
I came across two other people post-treatment in the relaxation room. I really enjoyed coming alone and having proper quality time to myself. The spa attracts all sorts as Richmond does itself, from sports fanatics, business professionals, to yummy mums.


WALLET WATCH
I used the exclusive ‘treat-me’ offer for September-October, “Book an Elemis Facial and receive a complimentary body exfoliation.” The Visible Brilliance Elemis Facial cost £88, the Sea Salt body scrub would have been a further £50. On registering, they promptly put me on their mailing list for further offers, I’ll certainly be looking out for them.


NEED TO KNOW
Body Experience, 50 Hill Rise, Richmond, Surrey (020 8334 9999; www.bodyexperience.co.uk)

Joshi's Holistic Detox

Are you contemplating a detox this January? Already planning for the seasonal blitz, knowing you cannot resist the Christmas excess.

I was laid up with swine flu , when I decided it was time I kicked my health back into shape, a bit of an exercise junky by nature and a healthy eater, I wasn’t phased by the detox I found online.

The Joshi Detox at first glance seems drastic, but I was intrigued by the suggestion of quick results “if no one comments within two weeks on how great you’re looking – you must be cheating’ – Joshi.

Nishi Joshi an osteopath and diet guru runs The Joshi Clinic from Wimpole Street, London. He has a host of celebrity clients, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Patsy Kensit and Ralph Fiennes and claims the detox to be craving-free, though you have to adapt your diet significantly. His book, Joshi’s Holistic Detox – ‘21 days to a healthier, slimmer you – for life’ is rooted in Indian tradition of ancient science and the wisdom of Ayurvedic medicine.

The crux of the detox is to bring your body from an acidic state back to alkaline, to achieve this, there are many foods that have to come out of your diet for 21 days,. If you are keen, you can take a saliva PH test before and after to see your results. He calls it a ‘Holistic’ detox because it also addresses lifestyle, emotional needs, home and work life, activity levels diet and external stresses.

The range of foods to avoid at first seemed endless; no red meat, no dairy produce, no fruit except bananas, no wheat, gluten, yeast, no alcohol, no biscuits, cakes, no jams, spreads except honey, no caffeine except herbal teas, no sugar, no artificially produced flavourings, e.g. tomato ketchup.

Being a creature of habit, I enjoyed my new short and limited shopping list. I had a trolley to be proud of when I did my food shop, bursting with healthy foods. The book does offer some recipes, though I found few that wetted my appetite so I searched online instead and managed to eat a different meal everyday.

I approached week one fully committed, bringing snacks such as carrot and celery stick, rice cakes and honey and lunches of home made soups and salads into work. I replaced caffeine with herbal teas, finding new ones all the time to keep it interesting. Licorice tea remains my favourite. I ate meat every night such as salmon, chicken and turkey.

I ate much more often than my previous scanty diet where I missed meals a lot and snacked often on sugary treats. I was glad for the change and I experienced no cravings at all. Week 2, I spent in St Ives Cornwall – probably the biggest challenge during the 3-weeks to be away from home and to have to decline all holiday treats.

As Joshi recommended, I amended my exercise regime instead of continuing my habit of lunch hours in the gym, I left the office and walked to the local swimming pool, where I benefited so much more, mentally and physically.

After week 3, the change in me was obvious and the compliments kept coming. I had slept the deepest I can ever remember, every single night. My regular tummy bloats and daily sugar cravings had gone completely. My fitness levels increased dramatically from the combination of a tough swimming regime and a high protein diet and my skin was translucent. I was an all new me and took the detox beyond 21 days to 28 because I felt so good on it.

8 weeks on and I’m still sticking to the principals of the detox, it really works for me.
I’m healthier, more energised, better rested, more in control, less stressed, better fed, though lighter on the scales, and most of all really keen to learn a lot more. It has been a positive experience and as a result have signed myself up to study a Nutrition Diploma to learn a lot more about the good I have done myself.

So if you are thinking of taking up a detox this January, try this one by February you’ll be ready to start the new year as an all new you.